


Any Last Words?

by gaily-daily (passionateartist)



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, You've been warned, benign conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 13:38:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10640943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passionateartist/pseuds/gaily-daily
Summary: “I don’t hold conversations with criminals.” Batman says without thinking. It’s instinct to shoot down any and all invitations Joker gives him by now. But Bruce needs to reel himself back. Barbara can't trace the call if he doesn't play along. So with that in mind, he gives a very deep sigh and opens his mouth.“How’s your day going?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> done for that prompt where person A is dying and calls person B and then carries on a normal conversation while they bleed out.

“Joker.” Batman growls into the commuicator. 

“Heeeey Batsy.”

“What the hell did you do?”

“What? Can’t a guy call vigilante without being interrogated?”

“You only ever try to contact me when you’re putting your newest scheme into motion. So what the hell are you planning?”

Joker chuckles. But it’s weaker than usual. His laughs are always boasting and loud. It’s strange to think that Bruce knows this man so well he can tell the man’s mood by his laugh. A high-pitched giggle when he’s excited. A continuous string of cackles when he’s amused. A low chuckle when he’s angry. But this one, it doesn’t have any oomph to it. Bruce narrows his eyes. Something is wrong.

“I just wanted to hear your lovely voice.”

“I’m hanging up.”

“NO!” Joker’s cry is cut off sharply by a gasp. It sounds like someone is in pain. But Bruce cannot tell if it’s coming from the Joker, or someone Joker is holding captive.

“Who’s there with you?” Batman asks, immediately suspicious. “If you have a hostage so help me Joker—“

“Shhhhh shh shh, we’ll get back to that Bats.” He takes a pause here. Breathing in deliberately. “So, how are you? Same old cave? Same old punching thugs in the faces till they bleed?”

“If you’re trying to stall you’re going to regret it.” If something had felt off before then there were definitely alarm bells now.

Bruce quietly patches in Oracle while simultaneously texting her. Alerting her to the situation and to trace the call. Joker may be hiding something, but not for long. He’d find out where he was soon enough and his game would be over.

Oracle texts back almost instantly. She’ll be a minute so just keep him on the line till she pinpoints his location. Bruce almost smirks at that. Keeping the Joker on the line wasn’t the problem. He feels a burst of warmth towards Barbara. She was always there when he needed her to be.

“Baaaats? Batsy, babe! You still there? Don’t leave me hanging!”

“I’m still here.” He says gruffly. 

Joker sighs. “Jeez, you’re sentences are as short and clipped as ever. Would it kill you to hold an actual conversation?”

“I don’t hold conversations with criminals.” Batman says without thinking. It’s instinct to shoot down any and all invitations Joker gives him by now. But Bruce needs to reel himself back. Barbara can’t trace the call if he doesn’t play along. So with that in mind, he gives a very deep sigh and opens his mouth.

“How’s your day going?”

For a moment, everything is silent. And then Joker is gasping for gleeful breath, giggling all the while. Batman can just see the ridiculous grin on his face.

“Finally playing along for once? Is it my birthday?” 

Batman grits his teeth, trying to remain objective. Though he does note how Joker’s laughs are getting wheezy and growing smaller. 

“You said you wanted to talk so talk.”

Joker hums pleasantly.

“What’s your favorite animal?”

Bruce blinks.

“You know I always assumed it was a bat, but then that’d be too obvious wouldn’t it? I bet it’s something unexpected but still _you_.”

Bruce opens his mouth and then closes it. He knows what he needs to do, but lord help him he’s not sure he can.

“And please don’t tell me it’s a **_cat_**.” Joker spits the word out like he’s about to maim it. 

“It’s not.” Batman replies. Truth be told he...actually doesn’t know what his favorite animal is. Probably a dog. He likes dogs.

But Joker isn’t patient enough for Bruce’s answer. He’s already rambling out the next question before Bruce can truly think on an honest answer.

“What’s your favorite pastime? Aside from catching yours truly of course.”

At this point Bruce is unsure if Joker is actually wanting or expecting any feedback. If he just simply wanted an opportunity to spout out all his inner thoughts at Bruce.

“You know, I like to picture that you just sit there in your little bat cave brooding in the dark.”

There’s a snort from the other line and Bruce can tell Barbara is trying to hold it in. He’d be annoyed if he wasn’t so confounded at how the Joker can still manage to get Barbara to laugh despite all he’s done to her.

“Have you ever laughed before?” 

This one stops him. This is isn’t like the other questions: innocent and curious. Joker sounds—melancholy. And Bruce isn’t sure what to make of that.

“Like really laughed? Not a fake one. And not one of those chuckles you do when you’ve won a fight and the bad guys are all put away.”

Bruce is suddenly seized with a feeling. An urge. What the hell was happening? What could possibly make the Joker sound this way? Batman bites down the desire to ask anything. This wasn’t about that. He’d find out soon enough.

“I don’t think I’ve ever really heard you laugh before. Shame isn’t it? After all that effort I put into making joke after joke and you never could see the funny side.”

“Maybe you’re just not as funny as you think you are.”

There is an intense pause. In any other situation, the Joker would have had his head for a comment like that. It was the sort of thing that made the Joker fly off the handle. The mad man had so very few buttons and Bruce didn’t make a habit of pressing them. But from time to time he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to rile up his arch enemy as much as the Joker did to him. 

The moment passes and an even weaker giggle from before rings through Bruce’s ears. The Joker’s breathing intensifies.

“Touche. But I would have loved to hear it all the same, darling.”

Batman pauses. Joker was talking as if he wouldn’t be making anymore jokes after today. Bruce found that very hard to believe.

“You’ve got such a lovely voice. I imagine it would be a deep, baritone laugh. One of those ones that settle in your chest and fill the whole room.”

This was getting uncomfortable. Not because of the intimacy. Joker often tried to be intimate in most of his interactions with Batman. But the feeling that something was off, that something was amiss, was now screaming in his ears. 

He doesn’t know what makes him say what he says next. Perhaps it’s the way Joker’s voice is becoming more quiet with every word. Perhaps it’s because of some growing sense of wrongness. Or perhaps, it’s because when Bruce actually thinks about it, he remembers exactly the last time he’d laughed fully with all of his heart. And that fact throws something off balance inside him.

“I was eight.” He says quietly. His voice steady, but his heart pounding.

Joker senses the change. His wheezing stops a moment. “The last time you laughed was when you were eight?” He gives a giggle-snort. “Wow. That’s got to be the saddest thing you’ve ever told me.”

Bruce hears some shuffling in the background and when Joker speaks again it’s almost a whisper.

“It really shows in your face. Well, half your face I mean. No laugh lines whatsoever. No wonder you’re so stiff all the time.”

Something breaks in Bruce’s chest and he can’t take it anymore.

“Joker what’s wrong? Where are you?”

Joker gives a shaky breath and a laugh that sounds more like he’s in pain than actual amusement. But then Oracle finally texts him the address with a sharp ping. Bruce bares his teeth once he sees the address. It’d take at least 25 minutes. 25 minutes to get to where the Joker was. And yet it feels like a lifetime at this point. He wanted to be there _now_.

“I’m headed your way. Stay put.”

In any other situation, Batman would have recoiled at his unintentional confession. He’d just told the Joker that he had his position without even a thought. Without pause. The entire point of quietly contacting Oracle was so Joker wouldn’t know that Batman was tracing the call. 

But Joker doesn’t seem to register the words. His breathing has significantly worsened and if Bruce concentrates, he can hear whimpers accompany every intake. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make you laugh.”

“Joker stay on the line! Joker!”

There’s nothing to explain away the panic eating in his gut as he races through the streets. But even as he yells out the Joker’s name again and again, he doesn’t receive any response.

**Author's Note:**

> D:


End file.
